Life so far

I have official paid off a bill i owe. Having health insurance that onlys pays half sucks and i had to pay 150 a month which was taken out my check monthly. i had to get rid of it because i refuse to pay for insurance that only pays half and i have to pay for the rest

Current situation part two

The thing about this person is that he makes me see life in a whole new light it’s like he’s exactly what I been waiting for my whole life . I can’t go a day without hearing or speaking to him .I can’t stay mad at him . It sickens me to argue with him I rather not . He support me in my writing and is interested in my ideas I never had that . It feels nice to have him in my life. Right now we are friends but I hope one day we can be more then that . This distance between us is hard because I want touch hold him thru out the night. Go on dates take long walk with him spend two hours just talking about life or whatever comes in mind .I want push him to reach his highest potential and he push me to reach mines I want see him happy in life live out his dreams travel with each other experience life together. Since I meet you I felt at home and at peace I’m happy

My current situation

I’m trying to keep busy not think of you but it’s hard because I do have feelings for you. It’s not lust or inflation I feel for you. I haven’t felt this way in years and I spend my day sometimes thinking about you . Wondering if you think of me the same .maybe you don’t because you never been in love before and when I try tell you how I feel I get shot down I feel so small . I know we are in different places right now and you dealing with your issues in your life I just want be there supporting you thru everything and you support me as well. You tell me focus on your book among other things. The thing is I’m focused on this book learning new languages and researching New information for my book and manga . I still get giddy when I hear from you u make me happy on the inside and I’m not ashamed of my feelings for you I’m just waiting for the day I see you face to face because u are a amazing person u remainder me of me at times maybe that why I’m draw to you like a moth to a flame. Only time will tell what the future holds for the both of us I just hope we both reach our goals we have set mines for myself and the goals you set for yourself

Women who kept men from their kids

I don’t get women who do this shit ,don’t you get it it’s the kids suffer from your childish action . The father of your kids doesn’t want you anymore move on it didn’t work out between you two don’t punish the kids .also if you get in a new relationship don’t let that man keep you from your kid or kids if you don’t have custody of them . It hurting your kids not see you if that the case get rid of that bastard he no good for you or your kids

My last relationship

My last relationship was taught me what I do not want from love. I meet this person when I was twenty one he was way older, we work together he pursue me. I was hesitant to talk him because I had a rule never date where you make money at because the drama can cause. I seen first hand at my second job so I vow never to break that promise to myself. But slowly but surely he broke me from the promise I made for myself. I remember one thing he did that made me stop talking to him he grabbing my arm and not letting going because I wanted to go home left a small bruise on me I thank god I could hide it . He apologized saying he was sorry and could he talk to me . Against my better judgement I said okay we meet he apologized some more and end up having intercourse. A month later I started getting sick, I tell him I’m sick as all doors he joking around and say you might be pregnant. I look at him look at are you serious we argue next thing I know I’m push on the bed his hands are around my neck I beg him to let me  go that I can’t breath please let me go I’m crying at this point he let’s go of my throat I’m trying to catch my breath at this point. My phone rings he answer it it my doctor office remainder me of my doctor appointment for today

Bipolar disorder

I was clinically diagnosed with this mental illness in 2008. I thought it was something wrong with me, it wasn’t it was the chemical imbalance in my brain. I have did and said things to people I have now regret saying and I tried to apologize for the harm I have caused family and friends some accept some haven’t and I accept the fact that some relationship can’t be repaired no matter how much you need it be fixed,because you care about the person. I don’t know if I really want a relationship with someone at this point in my life. Like who date a woman with a mental breakdown like bipolar disorder even with taking medicine for it, I still going have mood swings they not going disappear overnight. I feel if you can’t handle me at my weakest then you not the one for me and I’m not the one for you